by Mike Corthell
The nights are long
the days are longer
will my mind get any stronger...
I can see my mind in my brain
but it doesn't work – not the same
Sounds I hear in the blackness
a scream, a yell
Waking at 3:00
in a panic...
I can feel me
Slipping inside a maze of worms
my mind is a slithering fool
Wake again at 6:45
I'm not dead yet
still alive, for what?
I look at another day in my self-made hell
A day past I was walking and driving...
smoking weed and drinking
I killed my friend and killed the best of me
''I am not going to get better am I?'', I ask staff
Telling me no, how do they know?
...or telling me yes
Which way I went and now how to go?
I am human and I can
feel, I can love, I can see what this has done to me
what it did to my family and my God...help me!
A living angel tells me that time is a universal medication
that heals all wounds -
I believe him...
(from an experience told to Mike Corthell, May 2011)